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When the Starcats Come |
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| This
song was inspired partly by Sandra Kasturi's deliberately terrible
poem, "Starcats!" (written for ChiZine's twisted tribute to
National Poetry Month, Shitty Poetry Month), and partly by my memories
of being bullied and ostracised all through my childhood. If only
I had had some Starcats to come rescue me. Ah well. At
least I have the satisfaction of knowing that all my bullies likely now
have prosperous families and careers, while I live in a box and must
reapply for my job every four months! Er, wait... |
| Recording |
| Lyrics |
| When the Starcats Come |
| Sylvia and Brittany Just posted rumours about me Online. Their friends are laughing even Louder than before. I guess they feel they have to tell Me that I'm ugly and I smell, And then I guess they have to go and Laugh at me some more. I've got no contacts on my phone. I sit in math class all alone And listen to the giggles and the Whispers all around. And I can always feel them stare, And I don't think it's really fair The way they mock me even if I Never make a sound. But I don't let my feelings show Since I know something they don't know. Things are going to change here, so I'm Waiting patiently. Right now, I may want to bawl. I may not matter much at all, But someday soon, the clouds will open, And the world will see: It will all come right When the starcats come. It will all be better When they sweep down from the sky And be my friends and make it clear That I'm the reason that they're here. That's right: run away in fear. It will all come right When the starcats come. The starcats live in outer space, But soon they'll have to leave the place They're in and come to Earth, where they will Spread despair and pain. They have quiet, glowing paws And lethal poison in their claws, And when they purr, the frequency Destroys the human brain. I will be immune, of course. I'll ride a starcat like a horse, But not quite like a horse, since she will Speak good English too. The starcats will respect me, and Be glad to bow to my command, And everywhere we go, we'll show our Prominence to you. It will all come right When the starcats come. It will all be better When they sweep down from the sky And be my friends and make it clear That I'm the reason that they're here. That's right: run away in fear. It will all come right When the starcats come. And Brittany will come to me And beg me for a starcat of Her very own so she can fly Around and be almost as cool As I am, but I'll smile at her And order all the starcats to Attack her with their fire breath, And then I'll eat some ice cream. The starcats will soon settle in, And then the hard part will begin: The part where we restructure every Social hierarchy. It will be merciless and fast, And all the kids who were picked last At sports will be prime ministers, though Still subject to me. And everywhere the starcats go, They'll hunt my classmates, since, you know, Starcats prefer to prey on people Who are in my class. And it will all be more ideal With every hearty starcat meal, And all the jocks and beauty queens Will tremble as we pass. Right now, I'm in the garbage can Because they put me there and ran Away after they superglued My trousers to the rim. But I'm not worried. I won't fight. When starcats flash across the night, They'll toss those jerks into the sea to See if they can swim. It will all come right When the starcats come. It will all be better When they sweep down from the sky And be my friends and make it clear That I'm the reason that they're here. That's right: run away in fear. It will all come right When the starcats come. It will all come right When the starcats come. It will all be better When they sweep down from the sky And be my friends and make it clear That I'm the reason that they're here. That's right: run away in fear. It will all come right when the starcats There will be a blight when the starcats It will all come right when the starcats come. Back to Music page |